Idiots on an Island
by Chizuru17
Summary: Naruto and friends, forced to play " Survivor" on an island. Things gets a little crazy. After you read, please review!
1. The Island

**Idiots on An Island**

**Day One**

_Notes- The character Deko is the future 'son' of Sasuke and another canon character; who will be revealed eventually. Rock Lee is currently in a wheelchair due to a training accident. Ken, Masako, Kikia, Ikoma and Nojaro are new genin graduates._

* * *

(The whole ninja team wakes up on an unknown island in the middle of the night)

**Deko**(very confused)-Wha..? Wh...what am I doing here?!

**Hinata**(timidly)- I don't know...

**Ken and Masako**(singing like drunks)- We're going to the zoo, how about you? You? You?

(Suddenly, a huge black helicopter flies over head and scares the hell out of the others, waking them up. They watch as a single woman jumps out with a parachute and lands in front of them.}

**The Hostess**(pulling out a loud speaker)-Hello, my good friends! Welcome to Happenschileinctnight Island!

**Naruto**(scratching his head, in confusion)- I don't understand what's going on...

**The Hostess**- No need to be confused you little raccoon looking child. You have all been chosen to play Survivor! Isn't that nice?

**Neji**(angrily)- HELL NO! Get us off of this damn island now!

**Nojaro**- I'm all for games. What do we win?

**Chouji**(excitedly)- Junk food! Lots and lots of junk food!

**Hostess**- No, you don't win _food. _Why we're at it, say hi to all of the people at home watching you right now!

**Naruto**(grinning and waving at the camera)-OMG! Hi mom!

**Hostess**- In this game of Survivor, you will be fighting for your survival through many different and exciting challenges. There will be heartbreak, betrayal, murder, friendships and even pregnacies throughout the game!

**Deko**(rolling his eyes)- Oh yeah, because that doesn't sound like like we left Konoha instead of being on a mysterious island. At all.

**Hostess**(pointedly ignoring him)- Anyway, the one who can survive all of these hardships can call themselves the best of the best and win the ultimate prize!

**Sasuke**(snorting)- What's so great about this ultimate prize?

**Hostess**- You could win THIS or THAT!

(Everyone gasps in happy and utter surprise, despite not really knowing why)

**Rock Lee**(excitedly)- _I want it_! That's the magical box that makes all of your wishes come true! I could wish for a new arm and leg!

**Naruto**- I could wish my mother back to life!

**Deko**- What the hell, Naruto. Didn't you _just_ say hi to your mom a minute ago?

**Naruto**(awkwardly)- Oh, well then.(He thinks for a minute before smiling again)- I could wish that Sasuke will fall in love with me and live happily ever after with each other!

(Sasuke immediatly moves away from Naruto)

**Hinata**(in a whisper)- I wish I could make a friend.

**Neji**-I wish you'd shut up.

**Hostess**- I think you all are getting a little ahead of yourselves. Only one person can win.

**Deko**- No shit.

**Nojaro- **Well, that's no fun.

**Hostess**- It's not supposed to be. Well, goodbye everybody and good luck. I hope that you'll survive the first round of Survivor!

**Sakura**(panicking)-Wait just a minute! You're seriously going to leave us here?!

**Hostess**- Of course! (She gets back on the helicopter and flies away)

**Sasuke**-(falling to his knees and screaming to the sky)-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Nojaro**(crying)-WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

**Ken and Masako**- WITHOUT BREAKFAST!

**Ikoma**(calmly)-C'mon, guys, really. This isn't the first time we've been forced into a life threatning mission.

**Choji**- I need my food fix now!

**Kikia**- But Choji, we don't have any food.

**Choji**- Find some.

**Sakura**- Well, there is some coconuts lying around.

**Ikoma **(snidely)- Yeah, because we're looking right at a pink haired nut right now.

**Ino**- It's everyone for themselves out here, Choji. That means your fatass need to find your own food.

**Kikia**(squealing in fright)-Kikia doesn't want to get bitten by a snake!

(Nothing else is said and suddenly, out of nowhere, it starts to rain very hard)

**Hinata-** We need to find shelter!

(They run straight into the cover of the jungle and hide in the tops of trees)

**Sasuke**- This. Sucks.

**Deko**(sarcastically)- No, _really_? How else would you describe this, emo boy?

**Naruto** (cheerfully)- Aww, come on guys! just act like it's a camping trip!

**Sasuke **(darkly)- I never went camping.

**Naruto**- Wow, you must've had a twisted childhood huh?

(Sasuke shoots a murderous look at him)

**Naruto- **UGH! Move out of my way, Rock Lee! You're taking up all my space!

(He shoves Rock Lee out of his wheelchair and tree, getting Rock Lee stuck in quicksand)

**Rock Lee**(screaming for his life, waving his only good arm)-HELP ME!

**Ken and Masako**{laughing}- Ha ha. You're stuck! (Neji cracks a smile)

**Hinata** (worridly)-D-d..don't you think we should help him?

**Sasuke**- No.

**Deko-** The loser is a ninja with godly ninja strength. If he can't get out of measly quicksand, I say let him die.

**Ino**- Good, the more gone, the better.

**Rock Lee**(screaming angrily)- I HEARD THAT YOU BITCH!

**Ikoma**- Why are you so cold hearted, Ino? We have to help him.

**Ino**- Go ahead, blind girl. He's all yours.

**Ikoma **(scoffing)-I didn't say _I _was going to do it.

**Rock Lee**- HEY DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE A CONSCIOUS? HELP ME!

**Deko**- Nope, sold it on Ninja Ebay.

**Hinata**- Maybe we can find a cameraman somewhere...

**Ino**(annoyed)- Hey genius, do you see a cameraman out here?

**Choji**- I hope he dies, then I can eat him!

**Kikia**- Kikia will save you, Rock Lee!

(She jumps in and pulls Rock Lee out of the quicksand)

**Rock Lee** (gasping for air)-Thanks Kikia! At least I know who my real friends are!

**Sakura** (raising her eyebrow)- You don't even know who she is and now you're magically real friends with her?

**Sasuke- **Since when did anyone else ever say we were friends in the first place?

**Deko- **You just did, you pasty ugly ass emo boy!

**Sasuke**- Have you looked in the mirror lately?

**Deko**- The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

**Choji**- Applesauce? Where?

**Sasuke**- Unfortunantly for you, this tree is barren. I'm not having any apples.

**Deko**- Uh huh, yeah. Too bad because appearently I've been walking around for fifteen years because of your defective little swimmers.

**Sasuke**- I must've really been drunk that day because I don't remember any of it.

**Deko- **That's the only way you'd get ever get laid too.

**Ken and Masako-** Go, Deko! Go!

**Sasuke**- And you wonder why I left you.

**Ken and Masako**- Oooooooooh! You jus gotz skooled!

**Deko**(getting angrier and shoving Sasuke's chest)-Why don't you say it to my face?!

**Sasuke**- Because, I'd go blind...?

**Ikoma** (insulted)- _Hey_!

**Deko**- You're the blind one around here, DAD!

**Sasuke**- That's because I looked at you too long. Appearantly you aren't just ugly, but you're stupid too.

**Deko**- I got it from you! You know what they say, it takes an idiot to know one!

**Sasuke**- Whatever.

**Deko**- Whatever my ass!

**Sakura **(angrily)-HEY! Don't talk to my Sasuke like that, kid!

**Sasuke and Deko **(shouting)- Shut up you ugly whore! You're not even in this conversation!

**Sasuke**- You know _most_ people look good in the DARK!

**Ikoma** (Grinning)- They sure do.

**Naruto**- Except for black people because you can't even see them! (He nudges Nojaro in the side, laughing) Isn't that right, _Nojaro?_

(Everyone instantly stops what they are doing, even Sasuke and Deko, and stares hatefully at Naruto.)

**Naruto **(laughing at his own joke)- Hahahaha! That's hilarious, I'm too funny! (He stops awkwardly) Err...why is everyone staring at me?

(Nojaro promptly sucker punches Naruto in the race and starts to stomp the life out of the blond idiot)

**Rock Lee **(getting inbetween them)- Okay, break it up you guys! I know that you are all torn up about my well-being but that doesn't mean you have to fight over me.

**Ino- **Don't know where you got that conclusion, cripple. No one said anything about you.

(Kikia pops out of the lush foliage of the jungle excitedly)

**Kikia**- Guess what guys, Kikia found two shacks up ahead!

**Neji**- Who on God's green earth are you?

**Sakura**- YEAH! We're saved! C'mon on Sasuke!

(She grabs on to the ninja's hand and preceeds to drag him through the trees. Everyone else just shrug their shoulders at each other and follow behind her)

(They walk through the jungle to an open space with two very tiny huts.)

**Ino**- Man, how convienent! The first sign of shelter we find and they're as big as Naruto's manhood! How are we going to all live in there?

**Rock Lee**- How about the physically handicapped in one hut and the rest in the other? That seems fair.

**Neji- **But that leaves only two of you.

**Rock Lee **(grinning like a creeper)- Exactly. (He puts his arm around Ikoma's shoulders) Are you ready for some lovin' my little lotus flower? (He leans over to kiss her but she shoves him out of his wheelchair, only to lose her balance and fall on top of him.)

**Hinata** (shyly)- How about the boys in one hut and the girls in the other...that seems fair and religiously correct...

(They shrug again and split up into the huts.)

**Naruto**(chuckling at Sakura)- Hey Sakura, you're a dude. So why are you trying to sneaking into the girls' hut, believe it!

**Sakura**- SHUT UP NARUTO!

(She picks up a coconut off of the ground and chucks it at Naruto; knocking him out.)

**Deko**(whistling)- Damn that girl has some arm!

**Nojaro**(looking over Naruto's twitching body)-Um, is he going to be okay?

**Ino**(muttering)- What an idiot.


	2. Mazea saves the world?

**Idiots On An Island**

**Day Two: Masako saves the world?**

_I hope you all like this new chapter of Idiots on an Island because it sure did take me a loooong time to type this out. I worked out a couple of mistakes in Chapter One. _

* * *

(It is a bright sunny day outside and everyone is out, doing their morning thing.)

**Naruto **(yawing loudly)- Ahh! What a beautiful morning! Oh hi, Deko. Still ugly I see.

**Deko** (glares at him)- It's not exactly a pleasant surprise to wake up to your face either.

**Ikoma**- You both are ugly as hell. Get over it.

**Deko- **We're ugly? You can't even see us.

**Ikoma**- I don't need to see to smell your funky breath. Two word for you Deko, _mouthwash_!

**Sakura** (cheerfully)- Good morning, Sasuke!

(Sasuke walks away from her)

**Neji- **No morning is ever good with you here, Sakura.

**Sakura**- Excuse me? Was I talking to you, cousin kisser?

**Neji- **What are you talking about. I don't kiss my cousin or anyone for that matter.

**Sakura **(grinning)- Uh yeah, ya do. I saw you two last night, you were _all_ over Hinata.

**Neji** (flatly)- Right, it's all for the instant rush of the forbidden love between cousins and for your sick twisted fantasies.

(Hinata blushes)

**Hinata **(stuttering)- N..no..no! You got it all wrong! Neji was choking...and...and...I just went over there..and helped...

**Kikia**- Kikia thinks that Hinata and Neji makes such a _ca-ute _couple!

(Everyone in the camp stops what they are doing and Choji chokes on whatever is in his mouth)

**Nojaro**- Whart on God's green earth possessed you to think that?

**Kikia**(fangirling)- Well, they have the same eyes! Neji is just so strong and hot with his pale skin and serious nature! And little Hinata is so shy, innocent and beautiful! Plus Neji tried to kill her before out of his insecurities, that's why they are a perfect match in heaven!

**Masako**(whooping loudly)- YEAH INCEST RULES!

(Everyone stares in shock and disgust at Masako; who in return starts laughing crazily and runs away)

**Ino **(eye twitching)- ...That was disturbing...

(Suddenly the sound of rotating blades becomes closer and closer. The shadow of the helicopter grows closer to Naruto and it starts to land. Naruto runs away screaming.)

**Hostess**- Good morning contestants!

**Ken**(screaming)- OH MY GOD IT'S THE ALIENS! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE OVER OUR FRUITY PEBBLES!

**Choji**(turning his nose up in the air)- They can have all the fruity pebbles they want, as long as, they don't take my coconuts from me.

**Naruto**(eyes shining in excitement)- Cool! She's a _real_ alien!

**Ino**(shaking her fist at the Hostess)- You witch, how could you just leave us here?! Don't you know who I am?!

**Deko**- _I_ don't even know who you are_! _How do expect _her_ to?

**Hostess**(obliviously perky)- Hello all! How was your first day on the Island?

**Deko- **_Fan-fucking-tasic_.

**Sakura**- It was horrible.

**Sasuke**- It was so bad I wanted to kill myself.

**Hostess**(cutting Sasuke off)-Stop being so pissy emo kid. Okay, since you all had such a _wonderful _time last night, I'm going to make this even more fun! Today's challenge is for each of you to catch a wild animal and bring it back to camp!

**Neji- **Why do we need to catch a wild animal...actually why the need for challenges in the first place? We're all going to kill each other in the end, so why don't we bring a body instead. It _is_ a show about ninjas with ninja powers, so it would save us all some fucking time.

**Kikia**(completely of topic)-Oh! Kikia has many animals in her room! They sit on her bed all day and Kikia has tea parties with them! Kikia's daddy buys her lots of animals.

**Ino**-Uh,honey. Aren't you talking about stuffed animals?

**Kikia**(with a look of horror on her face)-Why would Kikia stuff her animals?

**Sakura**(bitchily)- See, Ino-pig? You don't know everything.

**Hinata**- But they aren't real,Kikia. The woman is talking about living animals who live on the island.

**Kikia**- But they do live on an island! Kikia puts them on a floaty in Kikia's pool.

**Sakura**- Um, hello? What are you even talking about, stuffed animals are obviously not real.

**Kikia **(defensively)- Yeah they are! Kikia know they're real because they whisper to Kikia when Kikia is sleeping!

**Masako-**Gurrrl, you so crazy!

**Hostess**- You're _all _fucking crazy and now I need to go before you decide to infect me with your craziness. (She notices that Naruto is standing beside her. Staring at her with wide eyes and drool sliding down his mouth)- What's his problem?

**Sasuke**- Lack of medication.

**Naruto**(shyly)- Hi, Miss Alien!

**Hostess**(raising an eyebrow)-Hi, kid?(She climbs up the rope ladder leading to the cockpit of the helicopter) Goodbye everyone and good luck! (She suddenly notices Naruto is hanging on to the helicopter)- Oh God! How did you manage to get up here?!

**Naruto**(pleadingly)-Take me to your leader!

**Hostess**- Eww no.(Naruto latches on to her leg) Get off of me!

**Naruto**(loudly)- I want to go to space too! Take me with you, _please_!

**Hostess**(trying to push him off as the helicopter goes higher in the air)-No! Get your creepy hands off of me!

**Naruto**(begging)-Please take me! Pleeassssseee?_PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA ASSSSSSSSSSSSE?_

**Nojaro**(looking up at the sky, disinterested)-Should we help him?

**Deko- **The idiot will come down eventually. I hope his fall will be painful and deadly.

**Sakura**(grabbing Deko's hand in a rush, by accident)- C'mon Sasuke! Let's go hunting!

**Deko **(panicking as Saukra drags him along)-I'm not Sasuke! Help! She's gonna RAPE me!

**Sasuke**(grinning as he waves them off)-See you later.

**Rock ****Lee**- Ikoma, baby, why don't the two of us go into the jungle together? You know what they say, one handicapped person dies but two handicapped people survives!

**Ikoma** (smirking)- Well, this blind girl dies.

**Masako (screaming at he helicopter and throwing a huge boulder at it)- **Die scourge of the earth!

(Everyone heads back to into the jungle. Suddenly, they hear a very loud scream and an explosion that shakes the earth. They run back to the beach in shock as they see the helicopter smouldering in a wall of flames.)

**Ino**-...What just happened?

**Sakura**(grabbing Masako by his shirt and shaking him furiously)- Masako! What the hell were you thinking?!

**Masako**(grinning dumbly)- I saved the world!

(Sakura's left eye twitches and she slams his face into the sand)

**Hinata**(running up to an unconscious Naruto)- N-Naruto, are you okay?

**Deko- **Goddamnit,how is he not dead! He should have been vaporized by the explosion. Lucky bastard.

**Nojaro- **Well, maybe he'll die from eternal bleeding. if he's dead, I want his jumpsuit.

**Ino- **Why do you want his clothes? (Nojaro shrugs)

**Kikia- **Hey guys! Kikia can't feel the woman's heartbeat!

**Sakura **(checking her pulse)- Oh man! We are _so_ screwed!

**Deko**(awkwardly)-So...I guess we're _not_ going to wind that ultimate prize after all, huh...

_yeah, I know this chapter is a little...how do you say...blah? But it doesn't matter because I wasn't the one spending my time reading it now was I? So review if you want to and while you do that tell me who your favorite character is right now and if I should let the Hostess live or not._


	3. The death of the Hostess?

Chapter three

I am so _sorry _about the long wait. I've just been caught with the writer's block bug and had to shake it off. But now I am back with a new chapter! **READ IT NOW **or surrender your soul to cheese! 

Sakura{ looking down at the lifeless body of the Hostess}- Err what are we supposed to do with the body now?

Choji{mouth watering}- We should EAT her, I heard human flesh is DELICIOUS!

Ino{ smacking Choji upside his head}- Idiot that is disgusting! Do you think about anything else but food?!

Choji- That _was _my plan to get rid of the Hostess. But nooooooo!

Zeff{unamused}- We should just burn her, that'll lead no traces and its easier to clean up.

Ikoma- What about the smell of burning flesh? Somebody is bound to notice.

Neji- For a blind girl you are_ really _stupid. Nobody will notice because this is a deserted island.

Choji- I don't see no desserts on this island.{ he points at Neji} YOU LIE!

Rock Lee- I'm disappointed in all of you! How dare you? Just cremating the poor woman with out a good send-off! That's just sick. You wouldn't want anyone to burn your body and then just totally forget about you? _Would_ you?

Deko{snorting}- I wouldn't care, 'cuz I'd be dead by then. And since I'm damned to hell anyways, I think people not remembering me would be the last thing I was thinking about.

Kikia{grinning}- Let's have a funeral! Kikia wants to be the flower girl!

Ikoma- Err...Kikia I think you mean a wedding.

Kikia- No. Kikia's mother died and then Kikia's father married Kikia's mother during her funeral. Kikia was the flower girl.

{ Everyone looks at Kikia with a disturbed look on their face}

Ino{sighing}- _Fine_, let's have a damn funeral for her. It's not like we know who she is anyways!

Ken- I wanna be the preacher!

{ It is afternoon and everybody is standing in a circle with The Hostess's dead body on top of a bunch of logs. Ken is standing on a huge stump}

Ken{ solemnly} - We're here today to honor Bob.

Deko{whispering in confusion}- Who the hell is Bob? { A huge bible comes out of no where and smacks Deko in his face}

Ken{angrily}- THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU EVIL PAGAN PENGUIN!{ clearing his voice, he started again} As I was saying before, we are here to today to honor Bob. { he starts crying hysterically on cue as everyone else looks on weirded out} SHE WAS A GOOD CEREAL BOX!

Everyone{ solemnly}- That she was?

Ken{ with a tearful voice}- THAT SHE WAS!{ he starts bawling} OHHHHH, HO! MY POOR BABY! MY BABY!

Naruto{ starts sniffling with tears in his eyes}- That was a beautiful speech!

Sakura{muttering} Idiot.

Neji{ shaking his head}- You wouldn't understand the beauty of this Sakura, because you have no soul.

Sakura{ eye twitching}- Oh ho! And you _do_?

Neji- Of coarse I do. { He points at Sasuke}- I bought mine from him!

Sakura- Well I'm sorry to say be me and Sasuke share a mind, body and soul!{ She grabs Sasuke and starts fluttering her eyelashes all dreamy like}- Isn't that right _Sasuke_?

Sasuke{turning whiter than a ghost}- HELP! THIS PERSON IS NOT MY MOTHER OR MY FATHER!{ he then looks around}- Damn. This only works when sane people are around.

Zeff- Ookay....then. C'mon let's go burn the body. I don't think I can take anymore of this.

Ino- Ditto. { they light a few matches and throw them on top of the body.}

Hinata- BURN BABY BURN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!{ she throws more lit matches on the fire, making her face look terrifying under the glow of the fire as she cackles maliciously. Everyone moves away very slowly}

Mazea- Bitch! You so crazy!

Hinata{blushing and turning back to normal}- I'm sorry. I have a problem with my pyromania, please forgive me.  
Sasuke{smirking}- It's always the quiet ones.

Ino{grinning slyly}- Do you know how _ironic_ that statement is coming from you?

Sasuke{frowning}- I stand corrected.

{ they watch as the flames gets higher and higher}

Nojaroo{ takes in a deep breath}- Ah! The smell of burning flesh! It smells so wonderful, they should really make bottles of stuff like this, they'd make a killing.{ He starts laughing out loud} Ha! Get it! _A Killing? _'Cuz that' s what we did! To get the smell! To kill! HAHAHA!{ he starts laughing even more to the point where Ikoma shoves him to the ground}

Choji- WE SHOULD EAT HER!

Everyone- NO CHOJI WE ARE NOT GOING TO EAT HER!

Choji- Aww nuts.

Ikoma{sarcastically}- Nojaroo, _you are _hilarious! No, _really _you are.

Rock Lee{ sighing dreamily}- AH Ikoma, such strength, such beauty! That's why I like you baby.

Ikoma{threatning}- You call me baby one more time, I'll cut your throat.

{ Naruto peering curiously at the charred remains of the Hostess}

Naruto- Hey, she doesn't look like a person anymore! She looks like little charred leaves, or burnt sasuages, or burnt trash, or burnt cigarettes, or burnt skeleton or burnt alumnium foil or burnt cheese or burnt....

Sakura{annoyed}- WE get it already Naruto!

{ A hand touches Naruto's shoulder}

The voice that sounds suspciously familiar- You thought you could get rid of me that easily?

{ Naruto turns around and then lets out a terrifying scream}-** HOLY SCHZNIT**! She's alive!

Nojaroo- What?! But we just burned her to a crisp! DAMN YOU IMMORTALITY!

Neji- Damn, now I definitely know we're fucked up.

Kikia{cheerfully and excitedly}- Kikia would love to Neji!

Neji- WHAT?!

Kikia{ embarrassdly rubbing her neck}- Nothing. Kikia said nothing!

The Hostess- I am not human, the people of this show have made sure that I couldn't be killed and that I am mass produced. I suggest that you guys don't try this again. { She then smiled and points at the forrest}- Today you will need to pick a partner in order to find and kill a wild animal in the forest, the first to kill an animal first wins.

Naturo{ grinning as he latches on to Sasuke's arm}- Me and Sasuke are going to win! Believe it!

Sasuke{darkly}- What makes you think that I want you for a partner?

Naruto- 'Cuz you know that you are my butt buddy!

Sasuke{ gasping in shock}- You don't even know what that means!

Naruto- _Yeah_, I do. Sasuke bend over and spell Run.

Ken{bending over excitedly}- R-U-N!

Mazea{cheering}- YES! YES I AM! WHOO HOO!

{ Everyone quickly becomes silent}

Nojaroo- No Mazea! You are not in!

Mazea{ crossing his arms}- Pooey! I'm out!

Ino{sighing in frustration}- This is going to be a long day.

Sakura- You can say that again.

Soooooooooo. That's the end of Chapter 3, it sucks doesn't it! But whatev, at least I'm updating this story, the next chapter will **actually **have them hunting for an "animal" and a death of a person that I don't like at the moment. It'll either be Nojaroo, Sasuke or Hinata. So after you are done reading go review or something, so that you don't have to re-read this chapter again.


	4. Doggy

Chapter four

_Disclaimer- I don't own the song My Humps, it belongs to The Black Eyed Peas. Nuff said. _

Hostess- Okay everyone pick a partner, this is a partner drill. Those who can bring an animal home before the sun sets will not be eliminated.

Sakura{ running to Sasuke}- I pick Sasuke!

Naruto{ shoving Sakura to the side}- _Bitch please! _I got to Sasuke first!

Sakura{eye twitching}- But Sasuke doesn't even like you and he's not GAY!

Naruto{smirking at her}- Keep _tellin' _yourself that. Believe it!

Sasuke{darkly}- I hate you both.

Naruto and Sakura- SHUDDUP SASUKE! WHO ASKED YOU?!

Naruto- He's mine!

Sakura- He's mine!

Naruto- He's mine!!

Kikia{smiling oblviously}- He's Kikia's!{ Naruto and Sakura give her a death glare} _or not! _

Hinata{in her head}- _I wish Naruto was mine. _

Deko{annoyed}- Why don't YOU both just flip a damn coin already and save the rest of us a headache!

Naruto- Yeah! Let's do that! You know Deko, no matter what everyone else says about you,you are still ugly.

Deko{sarcastically}- _Thanks.{ _he fishes a coin out of his pocket} Here, Naruto heads or tails?

Sakura{offended}- How come Naruto gets to pick?

Deko{rolling his eyes at her}- Because Naruto doesn't whine like you do.

Sakura- I don't whine!

Nojaroo-Ha! That's what your mother said last night! { everyone turns to Nojaroo in shock} What?!

Naruto{ thinking that he is thinking to himself}- Okay if I pick heads, then that would be pretty good and then I'd be the dominate one but then Sasuke will be all pissy. If I pick tails, then Sasuke would be happy but I wouldn't be. But I want Sasuke to be _happy_. I pick TAILS!

Neji{flatly}- Dude you are sick.

Naruto{gasping}- Neji, you read my mind! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE JESUS!

Ken- Jesus! Mi amigo! Como estas?

Mazea{happily}- Jesus?! Did my goldfish make it to heaven?!

Choji- Goldfish? Who has goldfish?

Mazea{pointing to Neji}- Jesus has goldfish! He has EVERYTHING!

Choji{jumping onto of Neji}- GIVE ME FOOD OH GREAT LIGHT! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Ino{scoffing}- He _is_ **not **Jesus. He doesn't even look like Jesus.

Kikia{angrily}- _Shun the non-believer!_

Mazea- _SHUN! _

Deko{rolling his eyes}- Err can we get back to the coin flip _please_?!{ He flips it in the air and then slaps it on his hand}- Damn it! Sakura wins.

Sakura{squealing for joy}- CHA! In your face Ino-Pig!{ she grabs Sasuke by the hand as he tries to run away} Sasuke we'll be together for ever!

Sasuke{sobbing}- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ino{furious}-Urgh! That's okay because I have....{ she looks around for someone and graps Zeff by the shoulders} Zeff!

Zeff{wincing}- Can you get your hands offa me? I think my skin is burning because of your touch.

Rock Lee{ hearts floating around his head}- Ikoma baby, me and you will be the best partners ever! Will you marry me?

Ikoma{shuddering}- Eww. No. I think I'm gonna stick with Kikia.

Kikia- But Kikia wanted to be with Neji and get some _action_!{ everyone stares at Kikia who shrugs} But it's true!

Rock Lee{sighing}- I guess I could be partners with _you_ Choji.

Choji- Yeah, that's okay. You look like one of those nutcrakers during christmas time anyways and I like nuts.{ he blinks twice}- Hey! That makes me hungry! Do you have any nuts with you Rock Lee?

Rock Lee- No, no I don't Choji.

Nojaroo- Of coarse he doesn't! He is wearing GREEN _tights _for God's sake! I'll be partners with you Ken.

Neji- Hinata you and I will be partners.

Hinata{blushing slightly}- _Really? _Is it just because you want to become friends?

Neji{ spluttering}- Wha.....? Hell no! I just want you for your byakugan!

Deko- Who am I left with?{ he looks at Mazea, to Naruto and back to Mazea} Damn, there's not much of a choice.

Naruto{crossing his arms}- Don't chose me, your ugliness will probably rub off on me. But at least you're not like _Sakura. _I mean MAN, at least you weren't born ugly! She won't have anything going for her in the future! She's so UGLY, she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink!

Sakura{cracking her knuckles and speaking in a threatening tone}- _NARUTO! _

Naruto{laughing}- _Hell_. She probably has to tie a ring of meat around her neck so that the dogs will play with her!{ Suddenly Sakura slams her fist into Naurto's face, sprawling him into the sand and then started to stomp on him}

Sakura{screaming at Naruto as she stomps on him}- WHAT. ._SAY_?!

Naruto{weakly and fearfully}- You're _pretty_?

Sakura{smirking as she picks him up}- I _thought_ so.

Mazea- It's okay if nobody wants me as a partner. Its okay because you all are jealous of my humps!{ he starts singing}- My humps! My humps! My lovely lady lumps! Check it out!

Ken{singing way off key}- What you gon' to do with all that junk, all that junk inside that truck?

Mazea{screeching horribly}- Ima gonna, get,get,get you love drunk off my hump!

Ino- WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?

Choji- Hmph. Some people just don't appreciate good music.

Hostess{ eying the group weirdly}- Ookay well....um... Good luck with you guys' hunt and all. I got to go...shave my dog?{ She gets on an helicopter and flies away}

{Everyone goes into the forrest with their partners, Mazea by himself. They start walking deep into the forrest until they see a bear?}

Mazea{cooing}- Aww what a cute little doggie!

Ino- It's not a dog.

Naruto{cooing as well}- But it is just a cute little doggy!

Zeff{shaking his head}- _But_, it's not a dog.

Mazea{bowing to the bear}- OH! Great beast of cheese! Please accept this gift of a blind girl!

Ikoma{offended}- _Hey! _

{ The bear grows angry at everybody and starts to show his fangs}

Sasuke- Holy shit! Should we run?!{ he looks around and sees that everyone is fleeing}- Aww man! Screw you guys!

{ Everyone is screaming their heads off as the humongous bear chases them through the forrest}

Sakura{panicking}- Aww man, aww man! What should we do now?!

Deko{panting}- I dunno! But we have to do something!{ He shoves Rock Lee out of his way, Rock Lee falls out of his wheechair and onto the forrest ground} Damnit cripple get outta my way!

{ The bear catches up with Rock Lee}

Rock Lee- Oh ho! I am not afraid of you! I am a great ninja from the village hidden in the leaves! I will open my chakra gates and defeat you!{ he tries to open his chakra gates, but he can't even tap into his chakra}- WHAT?! OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!{ The bear promptly starts eating Rock Lee while everyone else watches in horror.}

Ino{in disbelief}- Is the bear actually _eating _him?

Naruto- I think I'm going to be _sick.{ _he throws up all over Sasuke's sandals}

Sasuke{disgusted}- Aww, that's weak Naruto!

Zeff{shrugging}- At least that's one person I don't have to worry about.

Deko- Wanna make it two? Watch this.{ he pushes Mazea in front of the bear} Go on Mazea, go play with the doggy.

Mazea{grinning brightly at the huge bear}- Hi doggy!

That is the end of chapter four! Yeah! Pretty short, but I really don't care right now. A shout out to **Rushninja **and **SasuSaku Forever and Ever **for reviewing, you guys are awesome!


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